Why ice girls are bad for business

So you're an NHL franchise exec, and some of your fans are making a fuss over your ice girls. They're shouting about sexism and poor working conditions, and they're attracting some attention. You have a decision to make: keep the ice girls the way they are, or make a change. What choice do you make?

The one that nets you more money, obviously. And these anti-ice-girl folks may be making noise, but take away the ice girls and you'll learn the meaning of the word "noise." You saw what happened in Philly. The fans have spoken, and the fans want ice girls, so this is a no-brainer, right? The ice girls stay.

Congratulations! Every hockey fan who takes the presence or absence of ice girls into account when deciding whether or not to buy NHL tickets--a group consisting entirely of two drunk nineteen-year-olds named Chad--will stay on board. Net profit from your decision: $145, minus the cost of replacing the seat cushion Chad smeared body paint all over.

Now take a step back for a moment and think bigger.

You know your fans aren't really going to make purchasing decisions based on whether or not they'll see sexy girls at the game. But here's who will: potential fans. The only cash that's really sitting on the fence here is in the pockets of people who aren't giving you money right now, but could be persuaded to; people who would love hockey if they had the chance to check it out, but haven't had the chance.

Here's the demographics of that group:

1. Women.

2. Men who don't identify with the dominant cultural definition of masculinity.

Guess how well the ice girl concept would poll there.

In professional sports, the market of men who feel entitled to look at women in cheerleading outfits is saturated. That kind of guy has already had ample opportunity and encouragement to become a sports fan. By the time they're grown up and making money, members of the give-us-cleavage-or-give-us-death camp already know whether or not they're going to come to your games.

The people who haven't made those decisions are the ones you should be thinking about, if you like money. And those people aren't going to look at ice girls and get tingly in their pants. They're going to look at ice girls, wrinkle their noses, and remember that there's a Buffy marathon on.